Wank - Entry 1

This commences my 10 part blog on things are are total wank.

Crocs*:

Not only are these shoes horrible to gaze upon, i'm pretty sure they cause the wearer to start using words like 'yous' (as in "yous guys are wankers"), 'bro' (as in "I speak like a retard, bro") or 'cuz' (as in "spare us 20c for some fags will ya cuz?") which I think we can all agree is worthy of a swift and painful thrashing.

These shoes are, and i dont think i've over-exaggerating, soley responsible for everything that is wrong with every generation that has put up with them, and every generation that has been or will be.

Modelled after clogs (possibly the stupidest and most uncomfortable of shoes), these shoes were destined for commercial failure right fromt he start. I mean, why go to the trouble of specifically designing footwear to "mold to your feet, be resistant to bacteria and fungus, have an orthotic heel, built-in arch support and tarsal bar position to give your feet for ultimate foot comfort and health" and then call them clogs? If someone came up to you and asked you to buy clogs, what would be the first thing that went through your mind? I thought of big hulking wooden shoes. The opposite of comfort.
Oh, but wait! These shoes are made from a space age material - Closed Cell Resin (PCCR). Does that make you want to wear them? I know I like my shoes to be made from bizarre materials.

These shoes are a plague. Tie a big rock to your pair (if you own them....or if you don't) and throw them in a lake.
On the Wank-o-meter, these babies are off the scale.

*the animal after which the shoe is named is not total wank, but super cool. Still run from either croc should you see them however.

My day

Its Tuesday morning. I'm at the library wasting time, not getting paid.
Heres a short rundown of my day

9:00am - Arrive to the sound of a cackling gaggle of 65+ year old women. I avoid them at all costs. If i had to take a guess, i'd say someone brought in a cake or some other variety of sugary pastry and they were stuffing their fat faces.
I do some real work while the bitches stand around eating for an hour complaining about how noone does any work around this library but them....

10:00am - The library opens for 'business'. A packed crowd of 7 people swarm in. Staff on the circulation desk lose it and abandon their post. I pick up the slack.

10:30am - My supervisor walks up to me in a huff, complaining about me not being on my 'tea break'. I explain to her that things are backed up in this section of the library because I am the only one working. It doesnt matter. "Tea breaks are important!" i'm told. I leave the public to work things out for themselves and go sit down and drink a cool refreshing vc. The 1110kj revitalises me.

10:45am - I'm given a data entry job involving statistics from ABS and the collated stats from the use of the public libraries group. I have until 1pm to complete this task. It turns out i have to enter a few pages of data into an already completed excel document. I'm finished in 20 mins.

11:00am - I blog because the stupid computers here dont allow facebook profile pages. I'm still blogging now. I'm bored.
The lady sitting across from me is mammoth in stature. Shes not fat. Imagine a cross between Janet Reno and that centaur from Mortal Kombat [Hereafter, she shall be refered to as 'The Renosaur']. Shes massive and has possibly the manliest chin I've ever seen. Its crazy. I bet she shaves more then I do. She must be about 7ft tall. I needed a pen earlier to work out some sums, but i risked getting them wrong and working them out in my head because I was seriously scared of going over and asking for one. She could probably rip my face off without breaking a sweat. no joke.
Sitting next to her is the smallest woman ever....then again, i might just seem that way because everything is dwarfed by The Renosaur. The tiny lady looks kind of like a little elf.
I think i could make a movie about them. Like a comedy duo. I could call it "Elf visits The Renosaur".
gotta go, lunch...

this is a test

testing testing 1...2...

this is a blog. here are some words that rhyme with blog:
hog, grog, smog, watch...dog, hedgehog, flog

end test.